From Catherine Parry except where stated otherwise
My thanks to all contributors
I am assured by the various contributors that these are real standing laws from around the United States of America. I suspect some have been repealed, and a few may even be fictional, but I have no direct knowledge, so please don’t take them too seriously – this is not a law manual! This is not in any way an attack on USA – other countries, including my own, have their share of stupid laws, and I may add some of them to this site in the future. Hope you enjoy these and remember, Law Enforcement is no joke!
It is illegal for a driver to be blindfolded while operating a vehicle. [Thanks to Tiffany Dozier]
It is illegal to wear a fake moustache that causes laughter in church. [Thanks to Tiffany Dozier]
Putting salt on a railway track may be punishable by death. [Thanks to Tiffany Dozier]
Boogers may not be flicked into the wind. [Thanks to Tiffany Dozier]
You cannot chain your alligator to a fire hydrant. [Thanks to Ben Chastain]
Peanuts are not allowed to be sold in Lee County, Alabama after sunset on Wednesdays. [Thanks to an anonymous contributor]
You may not have an ice cream cone in your back pocket at any time. [Thanks to an anonymous contributor]
It is legal to drive the wrong way on a one way street if you have a lantern on the front of your car. [Thanks to an anonymous contributor]
You can’t look at a moose from an airplane. [Thanks to Dave Knott]
Kangaroos are not allowed in barber shops at any time. [Thanks to an anonymous contributor]
Even though it is legal to hunt a bear, it is illegal to wake a bear and take a picture for photo opportunities. [Thanks to Kyle Brown]
It is illegal to mispronounce Arkansas while in Arkansas [Thanks to Aaron Parmet for that one]
Community leaders passed an ordinance that makes it illegal for anyone to try and stop a child from playfully jumping over puddles of water.
It is illegal to eat an orange in your bath tub [Thanks to Meagin Caza for that one]
Sunshine is guaranteed to the masses. [Thanks to Caleb Hicks]
A city ordinance states that a $500 fine will be given to anyone who detonates a nuclear device within city limits. [Thanks to Caleb Hicks]
It is illegal for a woman wearing a red dress to be out on the streets after 7 PM. [Thanks to Molly Lane]
You can be stopped by the police for biking over 65 miles per hour.
You are not allowed to walk across a street on your hands.
A pickle is not officially a pickle unless it bounces [Thanks to an anonymous sender at Emaloo5489@aol.com for that one]
Women may be fined for falling asleep under a hair dryer, as can the salon owner.
A special law prohibits unmarried women from parachuting on Sunday or she shall risk arrest, fine, and/or jailing.
If an elephant is left tied to a parking meter, the parking fee has to be paid just as it would for a vehicle.
(SARASOTA) It is illegal to sing in a public place while attired in a swimsuit.
Men may not be seen publicly in any kind of strapless gown.
In Miami, it is forbidden to imitate an animal. [Thanks to Dave Knott]
It is illegal to fart in a public place after 6:00pm on a Thursday. [Thanks to John Andrews]
It is illegal to tie a giraffe to a lamp post.[Thanks to Saz for that]
It is illegal to take a bath of orange peel.[Thanks to Saz for that]
In Hawaii you will be fined if you do not own a boat. [Thanks to Renee for that]
It is illegal for anyone to give lighted cigars to dogs, cats, and other domesticated animal kept as pets.
Bathing is prohibited during the winter.
Citizens are not allowed to attend a cinema or theatre nor ride in a public streetcar within at least four hours after eating garlic.
In South Bend, Indiana, it is illegal to make a monkey smoke a cigarette. [Thanks to an anonymous contributor at RudeBunny69@aol.com for that]
Kisses may last for as much as, but no more than, five minutes.
It is a violation of the law to sell or distribute drugs or narcotics without having first obtained the appropriate Iowa drug tax stamp. [Thanks to Nick Davis of Ottumwa, Iowa]
A man with a moustache may never kiss a woman in public. [Thanks to Nick Davis of Ottumwa, Iowa]
One-armed piano players must perform for free. [Thanks to Nick Davis of Ottumwa, Iowa]
In Dubuque any hotel in the city limits must have a water bucket and a hitching post in front of the building. [Thanks to Nick Davis of Ottumwa, Iowa]
In Indianola the Ice Cream Man and his truck are banned. [Thanks to Nick Davis of Ottumwa, Iowa]
In Fort Madison the fire department is required to practice fire fighting for fifteen minutes before attending a fire. [Thanks to Nick Davis of Ottumwa, Iowa]
In Marshalltown horses are forbidden to eat fire hydrants. [Thanks to Nick Davis of Ottumwa, Iowa]
Within the city limits of Ottumwa a man may not wink at any woman he does not know. [Thanks to Nick Davis of Ottumwa, Iowa]
It is illegal to put ice cream on cherry pie in Kansas. [Thanks to Tyler for that]
In Wichita, at the intersection of Douglas and Broadway, all motorists are required to stop at the intersection, exit their vehicles, and fire three shotgun rounds, before continuing on their way. [Thanks to Tyler for that]
It is illegal to hunt whales. [Thanks to Mitch Moore for that]
By law, anyone who has been drinking is "sober" until he or she "cannot hold onto the ground".
It is illegal to transport an ice cream cone in your pocket.
It is illegal to shoot game out of the window of a moving vehicle, with the exception of a whale [Thanks to an anonymous sender at Mauser151@aol.com]
It is illegal to rob a bank and then shoot at the bank teller with a water pistol.
Biting someone with your natural teeth is "simple assault", while biting someone with your false teeth is "aggravated assault".
After January 14th you will be charged a fine for having your Christmas decorations still up. [Thanks to an anonymous contributor at firstname.lastname@example.org for that]
You may not step out of a plane in flight. [Thanks to an anonymous contributor at email@example.com for that]
Shotguns are required to be taken to church in the event of a Native American attack. [Thanks to an anonymous contributor at firstname.lastname@example.org for that]
In Augusta to stroll down the street playing a violin is against the law. [Thanks to an anonymous contributor at email@example.com for that]
In Portland shoelaces must be tied while walking down the street. [Thanks to an anonymous contributor at firstname.lastname@example.org for that]
You cannot swear while inside the city limits of Baltimore.
You cannot throw a bail of hay out of a second story window in Annapolis. [Thanks to Kathleen for those two]
Mourners at a wake may not eat more than three sandwiches.
Snoring is prohibited unless all bedroom windows are closed and securely locked.
An old ordinance declares goatees illegal unless you first pay a special license fee for the privilege of wearing one in public.
You may not, at any time take a crap on your neighbour. [Thanks to Chrisi C for that]
It is illegal to put tomatoes in clam chowder. [Thanks to Leon Pool]
It is legal for the blind to hunt, and they don’t need anyone with them. [Thanks to an anonymous contributor]
It is illegal to give or receive oral sex [Thanks to Kiersten Pencap for that one – but Ryan Rogers assures me it has been repealed]
It is illegal to walk across the Minnesota-Wisconsin border with a duck on your head. [Thanks to Martina A. Tuckner]
It is illegal to have sex in any other position other than missionary. [Thanks to Martina A. Tuckner]
It is illegal to drive a red car down main street on Sundays. [Thanks to Martina A. Tuckner]
If an individual leaves his residence, or place of business, without the direct intent of injuring (killing) someone, they can not be tried for any offence. [Thanks to Les Easterling, whose friend was killed by a truck driver who escaped penalty thanks to this law]
A parent can be arrested if his child cannot hold back a burp during a church service.
In Newark it is illegal to buy ice cream after 6:00 p.m. [Thanks to an anonymous sender at Jorgelbori@aol.com for that one]
It’s also illegal in this state to throw a bad pickle on the street. [Thanks to Zelda for that.]
In Berkley Heights you may not walk your cattle on the street on Sunday. [Thanks to John for that.]
Females are strictly forbidden to appear unshaven in public.
A fine of $25 can be levied for flirting. This old law specifically prohibits men from turning around on any city street and looking "at a woman in that way." A second conviction for a crime of this magnitude calls for the violating male to be forced to wear a "pair of horse-blinders" wherever and whenever he goes outside for a stroll.
It is illegal to jump off the Empire State building. [Thanks to Chrisi C for that]
Elephants may not be used to plough cotton fields. [Thanks to Adam Bowers]
All couples staying overnight in a hotel must have a room with double beds that are at least two feet apart. Making love in the space between the beds is strictly forbidden. [Thanks to Adam Bowers]
If a man and a woman who aren’t married go to a hotel/motel and register themselves as married then, according to state law, they are legally married. [Thanks to Adam Bowers]
It’s against the law to sing off key. [Thanks to Adam Bowers]
A marriage can be declared void if either of the two persons is physically impotent. [Thanks to Adam Bowers]
In Barber, North Carolina fights between cats and dogs are prohibited. [Thanks to Adam Bowers]
In Chapel Hill, North Carolina it is a misdemeanor to urinate or defecate publicly. [Thanks to Adam Bowers]
In Charlotte, NC, woman must have their bodies covered with at least 16 yards of cloth at all times. [Thanks to Adam Bowers]
Beer & pretzels can’t be served at the same time in any bar or restaurant.
Women are prohibited from wearing patent leather shoes in public.
In Columbus, Ohio it is illegal to sell cornflakes on Sunday. [Thanks to an unknown contributor with a Hotmail address
In Marysville, Ohio it is illegal for a dog to urinate on a parking meter. (There are no parking meters in Marysville.) [Thanks to an unknown contributor with a Hotmail address
It is illegal to fish for whales on Sundays. [Thanks to Kyle Brown]
It is legal to throw a snake at someone but it is illegal to shake a snake at someone. [Thanks to Kyle Brown]
Violators can be fined, arrested or jailed for making ugly faces at a dog.
Females are forbidden from doing their own hair without being licensed by the state.
Dogs must have a permit signed by the mayor in order to congregate in groups of three or more on private property.
You must let your dishes drip dry. [Thanks to Martina A. Tuckner]
A special cleaning ordinance bans housewives from hiding dirt and dust under a rug in a dwelling.
No man may purchase alcohol without written consent from his wife.
If a motorist sees a horse coming down the road, the driver must pull off to the side of the road and cover the vehicle with canvas. If the horse is still scared the driver must get out of his car and take it apart until the horse isn’t scared anymore. [Thanks to an anonymous sender at MrsBassPlayer@aol.com for that one, and for additional parts/correction my thanks to Patrick Heller]
In the Mount Pocono region any group of 5 or more Native Americans are to be considered a raiding party and may be killed on the spot. [Thanks to Ken Del Rio for that.]
In Philadelphia, you can’t put pretzels in bags (based on an Act of 1760). [Thanks to Dave Knott]
Any marriage where either of the parties is an idiot or lunatic is null and void. [Thanks to an anonymous sender at Mauser151@aol.com for sending that within 24 hours of my appeal for anything from this state]
It is legal to beat your wife on a Sunday morning on the steps of the state house. [Thanks to Ashleigh McGee for that one]
It is illegal to catch a fish with a lasso. [Thanks to an anonymous sender at Mauser151@aol.com]
A city ordinance states that a person cannot go barefoot without first obtaining a special five-dollar permit.
It is illegal to take more than three sips of beer at a time while standing.
It is legal to commit a homicide as long as you tell the person when, and how you are going to kill them. [Thanks to Ashleigh McGee for that one]
In Houston you cannot buy beer after midnight on Sunday, but you can buy it on Monday. [Thanks to Jillchan25@aol.com for that]
There is an old law in Texas that states you are unable to tuck your pants into one boot unless you own ten or more cattle. [Thanks to Kitiara09@aol.com for that]
It is illegal to spit on the sidewalk. [Thanks to Kitiara09@aol.com also for that]
If two trains going in opposite directions on the same track meet each other, one can’t move until the other does. [Thanks to Casey Le for that one]
It is illegal to carry a pair of wire-cutters in your back pocket. [Thanks to Matthew Harris of Texas for that and to Brandon Taylor-Nelson for a small correction to it]
In Dallas County it is illegal to own any realistic looking, phallic shaped, personal massager more than one foot in length. [Thanks to Matthew Harris of Texas for that and to Brandon Taylor-Nelson for a small correction to it]
In Corpus Christie it is illegal to raise alligators in your home. [Thanks to Dave Knott]
It is illegal to have an open container in a car. (It doesn’t specify alcohol, it just says an open container.) [Thanks to an anonymous contributor]
It is illegal to have anything protruding from your bumper unless it is attached with a chain (so bumper stickers are a no-no). [Thanks to an anonymous contributor]
It is legal for the blind to go hunting as long as they have someone with them who isn’t blind. (Compare with the similar law in Michigan.) [Thanks to an anonymous contributor]
It is legal for a husband to beat his wife as long as he uses something no bigger than his thumb. [Thanks to an anonymous contributor]
Lawmakers made it obligatory for everybody to take at least one bath each week — on Saturday night.
All lollipops are banned.
A law to reduce crime states: "It is mandatory for a motorist with criminal intentions to stop at the city limits and telephone the chief of police as he is entering the town".
"It shall be unlawful for a candidate for office or for nomination thereto whose name appears upon the ballot at any election to give to or purchase for another person, not a member of his or her family, any liquor in or upon any premises licensed by the state for the sale of any such liquor by the drink during the hours that the polls are open on the day of such election." [Thanks to Christina Montosa for that] [This is in fact far less restrictive than the similar British law.]
It is illegal to deflower a virgin even on their wedding day. [Thanks to Andrew Davis for that.]
No children may attend school with their breath smelling of "wild onions".
It is illegal to put an ice cream cone in your pocket on Sundays. [Thanks to Crystal M. Chandler for that one]
It is illegal to spit on any sidewalk which women may walk down. (The reasoning behind this law is back in the old days women wore the long floor length dresses and their dresses would drag through the spit!!) [Thanks to Crystal M. Chandler for that one]