How to Deeply Connect with Your Beloved

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Here’s something to think about if you want to have a closer relationship with your significant other! THANKS goes to JAFREE OZWALD!!

1. Uncover Your Ego’s Perceived Loss:  Each time you find yourself getting upset and wanting to blame your partner, look deep inside and ask yourself, “What is it that my ego perceives it has lost, and wants to try to get back by blaming?” There are hundreds of perceived losses that include loss of freedom, loss of security, loss of connection, loss of power, loss of respect, loss of peace, loss of love, etc… For instance, let’s imagine that your partner forgets your birthday, and does not buy you a gift. Your ego may then interpret this failure as “he doesn’t truly love me”, creating a sense of loss of love. When your mind creates this story, you may blame your partner for your feelings, causing even more distance in the relationship. 

2. Get out your Story and into Truth: The creation of stories by the mind is what creates the illusion of fear and loss. Stories arise when the mind attached a perceived meaning onto an experience. With this meaning comes a whole slew of thoughts, emotions, misunderstandings, expectations, etc… For instance, in the above illustration the meaning that was attached to the missed birthday was that your partner didn’t love you. A story going on in your head can be tricky to detect.  The easiest way to detect a story is asking yourself, “Can I be 100% certain and bet my life on it that THIS is absolutely true.”  Perhaps 99 times out of 100 you’ll see it’s just a story with a strong emotion attached to it. When you move closer to the truth, there is simply the fact that something happened, it has no meaning attached to it, and that’s all.  No more and no less.  The better you get at seeing the story and able to examine what happened in a more factual way, you can consciously stay away from the ego’s favorite game of living in judgment, blame, victim and story-telling. 

3. Find the Perfection of What Is:  Anytime you are faced with judgment, resistance, fear, betrayal or any challenge in a relationship, just start with asking your highest self this simple question. “How is this circumstance perfect for my highest growth and evolution?” This kind of enquiry will naturally allow you to uncover the perfection that is hidden beneath the mind.  As you ask this question, your mind will begin to relax, open and see the perfection that was always there. The more you can see this perfection, the wider your heart opens, and the easier it’s for you to connect with your beloved on the deepest most intimate levels.  You’ll see how much your partner truly cares for you when the desire to blame them falls away.  What is left when there is no one to blame is this deep loving connection where you are truly meeting each other and fully accepting all facets of one another. In this embrace and acceptance is found a profound unconditional love for your partner and for yourself.