This Is Me Today – Old Girl Of 50
1. Kidnappers are not interested in you.
2. In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.
3. No one expects you to run–anywhere.
4 . People call at 9 PM and ask, “Did I wake you?”
5. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.
6. There is nothing left to learn the hard way.
7. Things you buy now won’t wear out.
8. You can eat dinner at 4 PM.
9. You get into heated arguments about pension plans.
10. You no longer think of speed limits as challenges.
11. You quit trying to hold your stomach in no matter who walks into the room.
12. You sing along with elevator music.
13. Your eyes won’t get much worse.
14. Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.
15. Your joints are more accurate than meteorologists at the National Weather Service.
16. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can’t remember them either.
17. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size.
18. It’s no longer a big deal when your body begins emitting strange sounds and smells.
19. You can’t remember who sent you this list .
And you notice these are all in Bold Print for your convenience.
